Monday, August 24, 2009
this 21st century
Ashton Kutcher. 87% of US citizens under the age of forty now have friends that they've never been in the same room with. 56% of those people have never heard a busy signal. 27% of the people on this blog right now are just pretending to read it. 48% of bloggers couldn't care less. 82% of this blog post was added after the fact. 32% of statements using percentages are completely false. 64.1% of the letters in this sentence are consonants. And 14% of you will count the letters in the previous sentence to see if that is correct. As it should be.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sheesh . . just post SOMETHING!!
What is the first known border?
"I got up" .
When "i got up" counts as a thing you did today, you may not have seized it, daywise, as they say.
Are you more daywise or nightwise?
Are you more cat or dog?
tree or sky?
by the end of the test. . . .
Are you more cerbellum mushroom or wingnut bus route?
as a Playboy bunny
named Christy.
Her turn-ons are
hot tubs and the rapture.
can there be an us without a them?
Character names taken from Illinois counties/cities -
Montgomery Chattsworth
Pearl Ogelthorpe
Wilder Kane
Grace Canyon
Emmett Shell
Wisconsin . . .
Gordon Covena
Daisy Hazelhurst
Gibson Leslie
Lula Newton
Lamar Funston
Avalon Babcock
Flovilla Americus
Arizona . . .
Somerton Winslow
Jerome Globe
Flagstaff Wilcox
Winkelman Bisbee
How many light years a gallon does that baby get?
Love - it's strong AND fragile.
coming through the tri state area . .
Scattered surrealism with a chance of fluxus overnight. . . .
It rained cats and dogs. Literally."
*some guy on charlie rose
Monetary Heights
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Today's Scores
Brewers 1
Phillies 7
William & Mary 3
Werner Klemperer 4
influenza 2
box seats 5
male urinary symptoms 2
German Shepherds 4
Chinese Checkers 1
girl scout cookies 6
the magic bullet 1
rush hour 1
meandering 9
your blog 2
my blog 3
waning moons 6
waxing nostalgic 2
hunting 3
wandering through the meat packing district 5
Tim Lincecum 5
Wild Thing 2
making something with your hands 8
twittering 1
safe 5
out 1
nasal spray 8
crime sprees 5
Oswald 2
what Flipper thought about between takes 4
dinner 4
supper 7
silent auctions 2
loud shirts 7
their mental capacity 2
your crazy bone 9
Facebook 1
books 14
quiet contemplation 7
Christianity 1
the Cub's chances 2
symbolism in The Brady Bunch 8
Jeff Beck 11
Jimmy Fallon 0
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Why does my computer suck donkey dicks so much lately?
But first off in keeping with the political correctness and niceness that is seemless universe i have to here now state publicly that I in no way have any disregard for donkey dicks in general. Hell, some of my best friends are donkey dicks. (CUT TO: my friends reading this line (right now!) and wondering if they are in fact, donkey dicks) (Of course I wasn't talking about YOU, [insert your name here]!).
What I'm saying is i have nothing against donkey dicks. really. Unless one is dating my daughter in which case I'd say something like, "I HAVE A DAUGHTER??!!" But then i would calm down and get down to the facts at hand which are: No daughter of mine is dating a donkey dick. And the second fact is: I sincerely and truly just wanted to write a post about how bad my computer is running these days and I keep getting sidetracked with donkey dick references. Damn!!! See??!! But the third fact is: once you go down the donkey dick reference road it is hard to get off. this is true. The fourth fact is my computer sucks donkey dicks lately.
and it's because of . .no not that.
It's because i Upgrayd'd.
mac 10.5.6 or somesuch shit. a month ago i upgraded (misnomer) to this operating system and now most of the good software i used works like shit. (SEE: donkeys dicks/ suck).
Here's some details
Photoshop won't even open. This is a software I use ALOT. But sadly if you don't keep upgrading along the way ultimately it just becomes obsolete. (much like my tv signal in the coming weeks but that's for another blog post - Look soon for the exciting post on watching tv with the new improved dtv converter box. No more annoying snow!! Now we just get even more annoying pixelly drop outs and freeze frames!! Perfect for watching an exciting French Open tennis match like the one last weekend)
anyway . . .where was I? Oh yeah, my computer sucks donkey . . .well.. you know whats.
Sooo . . . Photoshop is closed now.
Final Cut Pro doesn't like me capturing video any longer than 6 seconds in duration before it starts acting like a colicky baby and my sound recorder won't even communicate with my computer. So yeah.
It seems my only solution is to invent and then buy the new Apple iQuit and go make art with paper and scissors and glue and stuff.
And donkey dicks.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Don't cry!

Here's a picture of your blogger trying to come up with something to write and hitting a wall. It's been that way of late. No apologies though.
In reality this was taken by my father moments after he put me on one of these springy rocking horses which i did not like so much. It's good to know he had the sense to snap this photo instead of consoling me.
Dads. Ya gotta love 'em.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Back from Hawai'i (more or less)
Below is a shot of my friend Tom i took with a cheap underwater camera I bought at Walgreens before the trip. There was a little cove at our resort where you could swim with sting rays 'n some other fish of color. Bright colors.
Damn turtles everywhere.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Best of the Seemless Universe (or so I think)
Is This a Test?
Please answer to the best of your ability.
1. Which of the following best describes your feelings about this first question?
c a. Confusion
c b. Annoyance
c c. Laughter
c d. Scorn
2. When taking tests regarding things and stuff, do answers come easy to you?
c a. yes
c b. no
3. When answering the previous question, if there had been a third option, 'sometimes" would you have checked that instead?
c a. yes
c b. no
c c. sometimes
4. If you were a test, which of the following would you be?
c a. Drivers
c b. I.Q.
c c. Breathalyzer
c d. Rorschach
5. Looking back, would you say your life has been:
c a. easy
c b. difficult
c c. sometimes
6. What word or phrase would best describe this question?
c a. yes
c b. no
c c. only in an emergency
c d. is this some kind of a joke?
(if you answered "D", please go to question 6a.)
6A. If this is some kind of joke, who or what is the joke 'on' ?
c a. the status quo
c b. test taking in general
c c. yourself
c d. them
(if you answered "C", please go to question 6B)
6B Oh come on! We're just having fun here, OK?
c a. OK.
c b. not OK.
(If you answered "B", go to 6c, for chrissakes)
6C. What's your fucking problem?
c a. little or no sense of humor.
c b. questionable upbringing.
c c. Republican.
c d. just not that into this kind of stuff.
7. Would you say you are more of an answer or more of a question?
c a. answer.
c b. question.
8. Would your friends say you are more of a blueprint or a haiku?
c a. blueprint
c b. haiku.
9. If your life is a baseball game, what inning are you in?
c a. 1st
c b. 2nd
c c. 3rd
c d. 4th
c e. 5th
c f. 6th
c g. 7th
c h. 8th
c i. 9th
c j. extra innings
c k. one out in the bottom of the fifth, with the score tied. men on first and third and Derek Lee up.
c l. I'm more into football.
10. Would you rather have pizza or sex?
c a. pizza.
c b. sex.
c c. sometimes.
c d. I'm more into football.
11. Is this test almost over?
c a. yes
-------------------------------------
Todays Scores
Cubs 7Pirates 3
Snoop Dog 8
Winston Churchill 5
Sandy Koufax 5
The Periodic Table 7
Joan Baez 3
anal thermometers 8
Kentucky Derby 7
Skywalker Ranch 9
Nikola Tesla 11
Thomas Edison's soiled diapers 1
papercuts 3
Doris Day 8
congruent angles 4
Rasputin 11
Jack Lemmon's performance in Good Neighbor Sam 11
Grateful Dead lyrics 13
good friends 7
everything else 1
Bedford-Stuyvesant 6
Electric Light Orchestra 2
Denmark 7
persistence of vision 5
facing death 8
indoor plumbing 6
Sigourney Weaver 5
cartoon penguins 3
why you're still reading this 7
George Clooney's worst day 4
the whole idea of it all 5
shade 9
The Rapture 11
Spaghettio's 2
puppies 12
vehicular manslaughter 3
Man Ray 20
trousers 11
Western Civilization 5
Handi Wipes 2
----------------------------------------------------
Church of the Holy Coincidence.
The following are some random thoughts from the journals:
Like an old hound dog religion has treed us. It’s all in our heads. Take a look..the dog is old, lame and blind. Climb out of the tree, stand on your own two feet and go help some others get out of those trees. It’s a start.
We change with the time. Our spirituality is too important to disregard each generations ideas. It’s the humans that are alive now that can save us. Not our dead heroes in books. It can happen in your lifetime. This is something to pray for. But not to a god. Pray to everyone living. Put your faith in the human race.
No Guilt.
No Sin.
No Father/Sky god judging us.
All the old bets are off.
This planets ignorance in regards to spiritual evolution is shameful. We may be the laughing stock of the universe.
Our government gives em a free pass.
Church & State - Totally in bed together.
It's time for religion to stop sucking off the tit of society.
if there is a god i can safely say he/she/it has not communicated with us. Certainly not by giving us "his rules"
Getting "over" religion will take awhile (understatement) and will be a huge human hurdle. And a great day. The Huge Human Hurdle.
8 comments:
- m. f. said...
-
I certainly don't want in any way to be as pedantic as old man moppin', but this thing about Churches getting a free ride from the government, well, yes, that is somewhat true. But religion actually has a lot in common with art in this country. That is, the tax code in the U.S. is no more favorable to religious institutions than it is to arts organizations. The photography center where you show your work sometimes and often go to see the work of your peers doesn't have to pay taxes in much the same way as your aunt Ethel's church. The film fests that have awarded you prizes for your fabulous film doesn't have to pay taxes, just like Tom Cruise's ultraswanky religious org. In this country, by constitutional decree, the government doesn't give direct funds to any one religious org, and it doesn't give much to arts orgs either. But it helps keep such things afloat by given them both the same advantages in the tax code.
I'm not a religious guy, but I think artists should be careful of demonizing religious orgs because they pretty much have the same deal. I personally believe it's a good thing that this country's government steps back and lets people practice what forms of creative worship--whether to God or the muses--without much interference. It'd suck if it were any other way--whether no support at all, or too much support (and so an expectation of control). - January 17, 2008 12:13 AM
- Coleman Miller said...
-
mf,
Damn. i veer off from the goofy and nonsensical just once and this is what happens? You make good points and my response to these are below.
But first I have to make a plea to you and any of my other commenters – please keep any feuds you have with friends off my blog. Even if it’s just a little innocuous(?) comment before you get the main ball rolling. I’ve seen some of these blogs and the comments - the infighting just makes me want to throw up.
If I have to get you and Mikey over here for scotch until you both hug and make up then so be it. Just give me a date.
If not, you two can keep at it..but please, not here, mf. Thank you. This is the last thing i'll say on this topic on this blog.
Now, I have to admit first and foremost my knowledge of the tax structures involving churches and arts organizations are almost null. So thanks for setting me straight on that.
The main difference I see in the Arts and Religion is this…
Art celebrates humanity. It celebrates creativity and new ideas. It evolves and makes people think. And it’s all made by humans. (for humans). And, like Religion, art compels us to have an opinion.
Ahhhh, opinions.
So now in the words of the comedian Brian Regan..”I hate to step on anybodies beliefs but, ….well….let’s get started….”
In my OPINION religion is dreck.
In my OPINION religion, through fear, makes people act good. (this isn’t on the face of it such a bad thing….way to go Religion!)
In my OPINION religions by their very nature, are full of false truths.
(No film festival director ever told me one of their judges was a big guy up in the sky. Who by the way, was also my creator and would have the final decision on where I would go when I die.)
In my OPINION anyone who tells you what happens to you when you die (and religions do this) is Full Of Shit. And because of this, when reasonable, intelligent people defend the church and its doctrines, it pisses me off. And makes me sad for the planet.
I also know firsthand - it “just feels better” to believe in God. It does. But my brain is a persnickety thing. And when all the information gets filtered through – it shakes it’s head and says “No. NO! Enough!” Saying NO to religion is a tough thing after years of being knocked upside the head by it. It’s not for the weak of will.
It’s easier to suck on the tit of religion than it is to think for yourself.
In my OPINION religion deserves to get punched in the face once in awhile, metaphorically or not.
In my OPINION religion, unlike art, disrespects humanity by continuing to patronize it.
So yeah, there’s that.
And, In my OPINION I’m 100% correct in these beliefs! How cool is THAT?!
Put your faith in the human race.
It's a tough switch but
you'll be happy you did.
-------------------------------------------------------
Today's Scores
Cubs 4Twins 2
Ernie Kovacs 13
Stan Brakhage 1
West Aurora 3
Totie Fields 8
Lew Alcindor 5
Ornithology 1
Asians 4
Cleavon Little 8
Alexander Calder 10
mustard 2
The Spanish Inquisition 13
sporks 9
Steven Wright 11
Tuesday 5
sprocketholes 7
John Cage 8
Jerry Garcia 2
Bjorn Borg 1
Big Macs 3
pointillism 2
The Eighteenth Hole at Pebble Beach 5
Todd Farwell 9
God 2
Verbs 3
E pluribus unum 5
Youtube 1
wallpaper removal 17
Tucumcari, New Mexico 6
Professor Irwin Corey 11
your middle name 3
film 16
1963 4
what happens when you die 11
Arkansas Razorbacks 2
Elgin, Illinois 15
fake poop 6
prayer 7
Christopher Walken's dentist 3
Napoleon 9
Pia Zadora 7
---------------------------------------------------
82 Words for Splank
The eskimo language Yupik has been estimated to have approximately 24 words for snow. In keeping with this theory my apartment has 82 words or phrases for "a fucking mess". It started when i came up with the phrase for the grizzled charred pizza strands hanging from the grill inside my oven.Pizza Scoundrels.
After coming up with this i started looking around my apartment..
Piles of stuff in corners, unfinished sculptures, stacks of crazed semi ideas, forgotten projects, it all added up. Here then is the list of small and glorious sections of disarray at TeamMiller Headquarters:
Creeping Nitch, Chelm, Art Phlegm, Whispering Squelch, Y'melmahay, Corner Thingees, Disinterpreted Norp,Resting Urk, Table of Contents, Silent Gargle, Dwellers, Interfangle, Unfinished Nerbs,Discarded Funk, Frutz, Mess Throng,
Skrulk, Big Bang, Junk Attack,Yesterdays Explosion, Balancing Frax, Murder One, Mini Scrutz, Fuckit, a Pile of Fuckit, a Lingering Pile of Fuckit, Yobobo, Curbsters/Curblings, Past History,Incarcerated Wingdings, Talminkle,
a Pile of Brakhage, Headache, Disproportionate Flink, Art Spasm, Falling Backwash,
Stacked Frangles, Leaning Twilch,Wasted Idea, Sprawling Nooch,Sculpture Burp, a Roomful of Me,
Sri Larry,Filthco, Window Squelch,Once Proud, Sliders,
Scattered Change,Trigger Happy, Meandering Filth,Cornered Fernlings, Idea Pile,Tow Jam, Hangdog Sink, the Unforgiven, Grandfathers, Latners, Scattered Froop, Kranch, Truncated Nurt, Rectangular Gruttz,Dirty Melvit, Fart Collage,Diagonal Tharch, Wandering Blutz, So Yesterday, Chankle, Standing Felch, NoOne’s Lark,
Fixated Whereabouts, Yummsters,Pile o' Shame, Frantic Laziness, Salt Lick,
Tripping Little Epiphanies, Ancient Grease, Concentrated Miller,Splank, Not Exactly Hallmark, Forgotten Schmutz, Leaning Beige,
Wall Twirch & Floor Splat.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
random entries from the current journal (Miscellaneous Various)
It's come to this . . .Corporations selling us minutes. cc captioning mistypings on tv tonight:mod rat republicans. Look at you! livin' in your white castle. In The Band Or Not In The Band? take a photo of a local band with two other people in the shot..all album covery looking. viewers job to decide . .. who is or is not in the band. Ben Gazzara the 69 Mets Man Ray. The thing about autobiographies is you can only do it on one person. a cinema on the spot...little or no graphics...probably a bad name for your graphics firm ..when your receptionist answers the phone "Little or No Graphics. How may i direct your call? " To Catch a Predator - ..these sad, F-ed up men and their lives crumbling apart in someone's kitchen. like watching a car wreck. that rabbi the best so far for my money. watching people plead...i dunno picking the right religion .. they make it all important..it's just a crapshoot..where you are born. Church of God the Verb. Think. all the religions say they are The One. if that's so then all the rest are null and void regarding the afterlife. (talk about positive spin...reruns now an "encore presentation" and death is "afterlife") God is hope repackaged. Now that we know this . .Let's just bring back hope! favorite quote from the bible to use against them : "The truth will set you free". SockRay Blue!! Shawn tonight . . . a few too many cocktails gave him a headful of thunder. words are just agreed upon. Don't Fuck with Wendy Testaburger! when your eyes are shut, you can see to infinity . Earth: Making It Up As We Go Along. each finished film is ultimately the answer. when you started it was still just a question - to play with and take on down a path of your own choosing. character name: Tao Jones. Go with God..... Just go! The Fag That Broke the Camels Back. Consciousness: the continuous situation. When your planet gets filled with martyrs . .it doesn't bode well. character in film: Rapper who has a panda bear named Bling Bling. good comedy club name: Hilarity & Sue's. No boogieman is an island.character in the story goes into a store to buy some context. good documentary idea . . .The History of Tomorrow. It's actually pretty wonderful that the universe always remains this constant mystery . .keeps us forever curious.Saturday, March 21, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
51 seconds of mini pong (in 3 parts)
And I'm posting this because nobody "got" my oxymoronic film to the extent I intended except me. (Note to Self: Don't post videos while on Vitamin M)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Oxymoronic
Really. Trust me.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Today is spraypainted film day
now i'm spraying actual strips of 35mm film. always back to film it seems. although those canvas works look good (and big) these ain't too bad either. you might have to click on these to see any kind of details. dunno where these are headed but it's a direction nonetheless. The longest journey begins with a single step or something like that, right?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
old post never published . . .
when writing a today's scores post i had one that goes like this:
drawing outside the line 137
cue cards 2
this is the story of my life so far....need to even that score out more - might be more productive.
and narrative, for sure.
time will tell.
Hold Your Horses!
Good question for the 1970's game show, MatchGame . . .
"What would Jesus Blank?"
Astonomers, scientists, philosophers and physicists all getting together for a thinktank - after many months their paper comes out and states that the universe is almost definitely something.
After some arguments, they change this to almost certainly something.
to create a new genre of film simply look over the application form for any film festival. online applications make you click on such words as :
Experimental
Narrative
Subtitled
Black & White
make films where these aren't yes or no questions. it's a start.
you already have.
new word for something that starts out very cool but then goes sour ~
Betty's new business was a huge success,
but then it sundanced.
Look for it all in his new book, Melancholy Olives! coming out this Fall!!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Stencils, Spraypaint & Sprocketholes

here's one (5 1/4" X 20") on canvas, stretched.
And yes, I am a Moon Child. I know, I know, not as cool as Aries but we Cancers try harder.
Monday, February 9, 2009
slapped together
Friday, February 6, 2009
what i bought on ebay

OK I lied, the only reason I'm posting about this is so my farticle post won't be the first thing a person sees when they come to this blog. AND maybe, sorta because am thinking about starting a new subject for the future called "the photography of ebay"
for instance - nothing quite says Bach like an in ground pool backdrop.
Either way I got a new projector to pick up this weekend (it's local - i saved shipping)
and now my farticle post is further down the page where it belongs.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Farticle
sj.com%2Farticle%2FSB121460099221711769.html.
Somebody recently sent me a link to an article and although i was unable to open it I noticed in the address very plainly in the middle there is the word farticle.
What exactly IS a farticle?
well this brings to mind a story from my past where Mark Petterson was more than a little miffed one day at having to smell his older brothers farts . . .his brother 's response? "If you're smelling it then some of my fart is IN YOUR NOSE right now." Hmmm. Of course, this brings up questions regarding physiology, olfactory senses and brotherhood for sure.
So yeah . .a farticle then is that small area of your fart that resides in someone else's nose.
There you have it! So who said Seemless Universe was nothing more than the meandering thoughts of an underemployed man? Who ?!! Who said that??!!
It's fucking Educational! or F'educational.
Now sure some of you are reading this and thinking . .THIS isn't why i visit this site, damn Miller.
oh well. come back again soon and we'll demonstrate how to send e-farticles.
The technology is almost there.
Peace, Love and Sheesh,
Miller
Friday, January 30, 2009
random journal entries
the newest anti depressant - Oblivium
like many before me,
have licked from the bowl of love.
Enrique Persisto
Lady Cummings
Chaz Memento
Glib Meevers
Wilvelma Serene
Jack Matters
Harvey "Spittoon" Smith
Sandy Apple
Big Dick Cox
Regina Magellan
Danforth Brandle
Christianity is based on a certain draining of the human spirit -
a unique kind of shame.
if it wasn't so damn persistent.
is a topic that doesn't come up so much, I've learned.
Vague Rules!
Jesus & Soupy:
A cross cultural study
This Life,
This Mystery
WHEN IT'S THE BAND.
as in
the phrase
"if everything is an emergency
than nothing is an emergency"
THEN
if everything is insignificant than nothing is insignificant.
Carrying on is a thing a person can do.
The play was blown dead.
Journals From a Mind
This myth of a judgemental God - most intelligent people grow out of it but since it's couched in "goodness" and "niceness" - lots of people hold on tight.
SHAVE THE WHALE
Monday, January 26, 2009
Prop Letters (Example LITB #27)
Anyway this photo was submitted by "Dave" on the Shorpy site.. It's a shot from an episode of "Leave it to Beaver". It's pretty self explanatory.

Mr. Ward Cleaver
485 Mapleton Drive
Mayfield, State
My Dear Mr. Cleaver:
This paragraph has absolutely nothing to do with anything.
It is here merely to fill up space. Still, it is words,
rather than repeated letters, since the latter might not
give the proper appearance, namely, that of an actual note.
For that matter, all of this is nonsense, and the only
part of this that is to be read is the last paragraph,
which part is the inspired creation of the producers of
this very fine series.
Another paragraph of stuff. Now is the time for all good
men to come to the aid of their party. The quick brown
fox jumped over the lazy dog. My typing is lousy, but the
typewriter isn’t so hot either. After all, why should I
take the blame for these mechanical imperfections, with
which all of us must contend. Lew Burdette just hit a
home run and Milwaukee leads seven to one in the series.
This is the last line of the filler material of the note.
No, my mistake, that was only the next to last. This is last.
I hope you can find a suitable explanation for Theodore’s
unusual conduct.
Yours truly,
Cornelia Rayburn
This guy "Dave" even went so far as to date the letter October 2, 1958 as that was the day Lew Burdette homered in the World Series between the Yankees and the Braves - one month before this episode aired.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Books & Exactos
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009

After that, Arnold walked backwards toward Sacramento.
bedevil the scenario.
Another time around Wednesday, Buford trimmed Samantha.
was beginning
to smell.
Act tender and wonder beliefs
that shine.
And then a white boy took shit.
Apparently the assembled
went back to Scranton.
Arguably, the atmosphere was
beginning to sweat.
And then Ann's wedding butt took sex.
was behind the screening.
Augusta the Avenue wakens beautifully the soul.
wondering 'bout that shit.
And the Average White Band tasted smooth.
Although the adverb wore britches,
things sucked.
smarts.

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