Saturday, June 27, 2009

Today's Scores

Cubs 4
Brewers 1

Phillies 7
William & Mary 3

Klemperer 4
influenza 2

box seats 5
male urinary symptoms 2

German Shepherds 4
Chinese Checkers 1

girl scout cookies 6
the magic bullet 1

rush hour 1
meandering 9

your blog 2
my blog 3

waning moons 6
waxing nostalgic 2

hunting 3
wandering through the meat packing district 5

Tim Lincecum 5
Wild Thing 2

making something with your hands 8
twittering 1

safe 5
out 1

nasal spray 8
crime sprees 5

Oswald 2
what Flipper thought about between takes 4

dinner 4
supper 7

silent auctions 2

loud shirts 7

their mental capacity 2
your crazy bone 9

Facebook 1
books 14

quiet contemplation 7
Christianity 1

the Cub's chances 2
symbolism in
The Brady Bunch 8

Jeff Beck 11
Jimmy Fallon 0

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Why does my computer suck donkey dicks so much lately?

and that's just kinda a rhetorical question.
But first off in keeping with the political correctness and niceness that is seemless universe i have to here now state publicly that I in no way have any disregard for donkey dicks in general. Hell, some of my best friends are donkey dicks. (CUT TO: my friends reading this line (
right now!) and wondering if they are in fact, donkey dicks) (Of course I wasn't talking about YOU, [insert your name here]!).
What I'm saying is i have nothing against donkey dicks. really. Unless one is dating my daughter in which case I'd say something like, "I HAVE A DAUGHTER??!!" But then i would calm down and get down to the facts at hand which are: No daughter of mine is dating a donkey dick. And the second fact is: I sincerely and truly just wanted to write a post about how bad my computer is running these days and I keep getting sidetracked with donkey dick references. Damn!!!
See??!! But the third fact is: once you go down the donkey dick reference road it is hard to get off. this is true. The fourth fact is my computer sucks donkey dicks lately.
and it's because of . .no not that.
It's because i Upgrayd'd.
mac 10.5.6 or somesuch shit. a month ago i upgraded (misnomer) to this operating system and now most of the good software i used works like shit. (SEE: donkeys dicks/ suck).
Here's some details
Photoshop won't even open. This is a software I use ALOT. But sadly if you don't keep upgrading along the way ultimately it just becomes obsolete. (much like my tv signal in the coming weeks but that's for another blog post - Look soon for the exciting post on watching tv with the new improved dtv converter box. No more annoying snow!! Now we just get even more annoying pixelly drop outs
and freeze frames!! Perfect for watching an exciting French Open tennis match like the one last weekend)
anyway . . .where was I? Oh yeah, my computer sucks donkey . . .well.. you know whats.
Sooo . . . Photoshop is closed now.
Final Cut Pro doesn't like me capturing video any longer than 6 seconds in duration before it starts acting like a colicky baby and my sound recorder won't even communicate with my computer. So yeah.
It seems my only solution is to invent and then buy the new Apple iQuit and go make art with paper and scissors and glue and stuff.
And donkey dicks.