Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Back from Hawai'i (more or less)

OK I'm trying my best to get back in the swing of life here in Minneapolis after a week of hanging on the island with great friends. But i have to admit 80 degree temps are more to my liking in March than what we got here. (33 at present.)
Below is a shot of my friend Tom i took with a cheap underwater camera I bought at Walgreens before the trip. There was a little cove at our resort where you could swim with sting rays 'n some other fish of color. Bright colors.

Damn turtles everywhere.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Best of the Seemless Universe (or so I think)

Is This a Test?

Please answer to the best of your ability.

1. Which of the following best describes your feelings about this first question?

c a. Confusion
c b.
c c. Laughter
c d. Scorn

2. When taking tests regarding things and stuff, do answers come easy to you?

c a. yes
c b. no

3. When answering the previous question, if there had been a third option, 'sometimes" would you have checked that instead?

c a. yes
c b. no
c c. sometimes

4. If you were a test, which of the following would you be?

c a. Drivers
c b. I.Q.
c c. Breathalyzer
c d. Rorschach

5. Looking back, would you say your life has been:

c a. easy
c b. difficult
c c. sometimes

6. What word or phrase would best describe this question?

c a. yes
c b. no
c c. only in an emergency
c d. is this some kind of a joke?

(if you answered "D", please go to question 6a.)

6A. If this is some kind of joke, who or what is the joke 'on' ?

c a. the status quo
c b. test taking in general
c c. yourself
c d. them

(if you answered "C", please go to question 6B)

6B Oh come on! We're just having fun here, OK?

c a. OK.
c b. not OK.

(If you answered "B", go to 6c, for chrissakes)

6C. What's your fucking problem?

c a. little or no sense of humor.
c b. questionable upbringing.
c c. Republican.
c d. just not that into this kind of stuff.

7. Would you say you are more of an answer or more of a question?

c a. answer.
c b. question.

8. Would your friends say you are more of a blueprint or a haiku?

c a. blueprint
c b. haiku.

9. If your life is a baseball game, what inning are you in?

c a. 1st
c b. 2nd
c c. 3rd
c d. 4th
c e. 5th
c f. 6th
c g. 7th
c h. 8th
c i. 9th
c j. extra innings
c k. one out in the bottom of the fifth, with the score tied. men on first and third and Derek Lee up.
c l. I'm more into football.

10. Would you rather have pizza or sex?

c a. pizza.
c b. sex.
c c. sometimes.
c d.
I'm more into football.

11. Is this test almost over?

c a. yes


Todays Scores

Cubs 7
Pirates 3

Snoop Dog 8
Winston Churchill 5

Sandy Koufax 5
The Periodic Table 7

Joan Baez 3
anal thermometers 8

Kentucky Derby 7
Skywalker Ranch 9

Nikola Tesla 11
Thomas Edison's soiled diapers 1

papercuts 3
Doris Day 8

congruent angles 4
Rasputin 11

Jack Lemmon's performance in
Good Neighbor Sam 11
Grateful Dead lyrics 13

good friends 7
everything else 1

Bedford-Stuyvesant 6
Electric Light Orchestra 2

Denmark 7
persistence of vision 5

facing death 8
indoor plumbing 6

Sigourney Weaver 5
cartoon penguins 3

why you're still reading this 7
George Clooney's worst day 4

the whole idea of it all
shade 9

The Rapture 11
Spaghettio's 2

puppies 12
vehicular manslaughter 3

Man Ray 20
trousers 11

Western Civilization 5
Handi Wipes 2


Church of the Holy Coincidence.

I haven’t written too much on my ideas on religion and god but it's about time to let 'em out. The planet's been hijacked by ignorance and mythology and there really is no end in sight.
The following are some random thoughts from the journals:

Like an old hound dog religion has treed us. It’s all in our heads. Take a look..the dog is old, lame and blind. Climb out of the tree, stand on your own two feet and go help some others get out of those trees. It’s a start.

We change with the time. Our spirituality is too important to disregard each generations ideas. It’s the humans that are alive now that can save us. Not our dead heroes in books. It can happen in your lifetime. This is something to pray for. But not to a god. Pray to everyone living. Put your faith in the human race.

Big Bang? More like a Cosmic Ejaculation..

If religion has taught us anything it is this:
Get 'em When They’re Young.

Church of the Holy Coincidence.
No Guilt.
No Sin.
No Father/Sky god judging us.
All the old bets are off.

This planets ignorance in regards to spiritual evolution is shameful. We may be the laughing stock of the universe.

It's time for churches to start keeping the books and pay up.
Our government gives em a free pass.
Church & State - Totally in bed together.

It's time for religion to stop sucking off the tit of society.

the thing i refuse to buy into (re: religions) is they make their gods so petty. not only do they give these gods very human characteristics, but the very worst of them. Vindictive. Egomaniacal. Petty. (Notice i said "not only do they give these gods.." who can argue- we humans were the ones who came up with this grand idea of gods and later "a" god) so yes, we give our gods their traits. Lets' not fool ourselves ladies and gentlemen - it's all us.
if there is a god i can safely say he/she/it has not communicated with us. Certainly not by giving us
"his rules"

Getting "over" religion will take awhile (understatement) and will be a huge human hurdle. And a great day. The Huge Human Hurdle.


m. f. said...

I certainly don't want in any way to be as pedantic as old man moppin', but this thing about Churches getting a free ride from the government, well, yes, that is somewhat true. But religion actually has a lot in common with art in this country. That is, the tax code in the U.S. is no more favorable to religious institutions than it is to arts organizations. The photography center where you show your work sometimes and often go to see the work of your peers doesn't have to pay taxes in much the same way as your aunt Ethel's church. The film fests that have awarded you prizes for your fabulous film doesn't have to pay taxes, just like Tom Cruise's ultraswanky religious org. In this country, by constitutional decree, the government doesn't give direct funds to any one religious org, and it doesn't give much to arts orgs either. But it helps keep such things afloat by given them both the same advantages in the tax code.
I'm not a religious guy, but I think artists should be careful of demonizing religious orgs because they pretty much have the same deal. I personally believe it's a good thing that this country's government steps back and lets people practice what forms of creative worship--whether to God or the muses--without much interference. It'd suck if it were any other way--whether no support at all, or too much support (and so an expectation of control).

Coleman Miller said...

Damn. i veer off from the goofy and nonsensical just once and this is what happens? You make good points and my response to these are below.
But first I have to make a plea to you and any of my other commenters – please keep any feuds you have with friends off my blog. Even if it’s just a little innocuous(?) comment before you get the main ball rolling. I’ve seen some of these blogs and the comments - the infighting just makes me want to throw up.
If I have to get you and Mikey over here for scotch until you both hug and make up then so be it. Just give me a date.
If not, you two can keep at it..but please, not here, mf. Thank you. This is the last thing i'll say on this topic on this blog.

Now, I have to admit first and foremost my knowledge of the tax structures involving churches and arts organizations are almost null. So thanks for setting me straight on that.
The main difference I see in the Arts and Religion is this…
Art celebrates humanity. It celebrates creativity and new ideas. It evolves and makes people think. And it’s all made by humans. (for humans). And, like Religion, art compels us to have an opinion.
Ahhhh, opinions.
So now in the words of the comedian Brian Regan..”I hate to step on anybodies beliefs but, ….well….let’s get started….”
In my OPINION religion is dreck.
In my OPINION religion, through fear, makes people act good. (this isn’t on the face of it such a bad thing….way to go Religion!)
In my OPINION religions by their very nature, are full of false truths.
(No film festival director ever told me one of their judges was a big guy up in the sky. Who by the way, was also my creator and would have the final decision on where I would go when I die.)
In my OPINION anyone who tells you what happens to you when you die (and religions do this) is Full Of Shit. And because of this, when reasonable, intelligent people defend the church and its doctrines, it pisses me off. And makes me sad for the planet.
I also know firsthand - it “just feels better” to believe in God. It does. But my brain is a persnickety thing. And when all the information gets filtered through – it shakes it’s head and says “No. NO! Enough!” Saying NO to religion is a tough thing after years of being knocked upside the head by it. It’s not for the weak of will.
It’s easier to suck on the tit of religion than it is to think for yourself.
In my OPINION religion deserves to get punched in the face once in awhile, metaphorically or not.
In my OPINION religion, unlike art, disrespects humanity by continuing to patronize it.
So yeah, there’s that.
And, In my OPINION I’m 100% correct in these beliefs! How cool is THAT?!

Put your faith in the human race.
It's a tough switch but
you'll be happy you did.


Today's Scores

Cubs 4
Twins 2

Ernie Kovacs 13
Stan Brakhage 1

West Aurora 3

Totie Fields 8

Lew Alcindor 5

Ornithology 1

Asians 4
Cleavon Little 8

Alexander Calder 10
mustard 2

The Spanish Inquisition 13
sporks 9

Steven Wright 11
Tuesday 5

sprocketholes 7
John Cage 8

Jerry Garcia 2
Bjorn Borg 1

Big Macs 3
pointillism 2

The Eighteenth Hole at Pebble Beach 5
Todd Farwell 9

God 2
Verbs 3

E pluribus unum 5
Youtube 1

wallpaper removal 17
Tucumcari, New Mexico 6

Professor Irwin Corey 11
your middle name 3

film 16
1963 4

what happens when you die 11
Arkansas Razorbacks 2

Elgin, Illinois 15
fake poop 6

prayer 7
Christopher Walken's dentist 3

Napoleon 9
Pia Zadora 7


82 Words for Splank

The eskimo language Yupik has been estimated to have approximately 24 words for snow. In keeping with this theory my apartment has 82 words or phrases for "a fucking mess". It started when i came up with the phrase for the grizzled charred pizza strands hanging from the grill inside my oven.
Pizza Scoundrels.
After coming up with this i started looking around my apartment..
Piles of stuff in corners, unfinished sculptures, stacks of crazed semi ideas, forgotten projects, it all added up. Here then is the list of small and glorious sections of disarray at TeamMiller Headquarters:

Creeping Nitch, Chelm, Art Phlegm, Whispering Squelch, Y'melmahay, Corner Thingees, Disinterpreted Norp,Resting Urk, Table of Contents, Silent Gargle, Dwellers, Interfangle, Unfinished Nerbs,Discarded Funk, Frutz, Mess Throng,
Skrulk, Big Bang, Junk Attack,Yesterdays Explosion, Balancing Frax, Murder One, Mini Scrutz, Fuckit, a Pile of Fuckit, a Lingering Pile of Fuckit, Yobobo, Curbsters/Curblings, Past History,Incarcerated Wingdings, Talminkle,
a Pile of Brakhage, Headache, Disproportionate Flink, Art Spasm, Falling Backwash,
Stacked Frangles, Leaning Twilch,Wasted Idea, Sprawling Nooch,Sculpture Burp, a Roomful of Me,
Sri Larry,Filthco, Window Squelch,Once Proud, Sliders,
Scattered Change,Trigger Happy, Meandering Filth,Cornered Fernlings, Idea Pile,Tow Jam, Hangdog Sink, the Unforgiven, Grandfathers, Latners, Scattered Froop, Kranch, Truncated Nurt, Rectangular Gruttz,Dirty Melvit, Fart Collage,Diagonal Tharch, Wandering Blutz, So Yesterday, Chankle, Standing Felch, NoOne’s Lark,
Fixated Whereabouts, Yummsters,Pile o' Shame, Frantic Laziness, Salt Lick,
Tripping Little Epiphanies, Ancient Grease, Concentrated Miller,Splank, Not Exactly Hallmark, Forgotten Schmutz, Leaning Beige,
Wall Twirch & Floor Splat.


random entries from the current journal (Miscellaneous Various)

It's come to this . . .Corporations selling us minutes. cc captioning mistypings on tv tonight:mod rat republicans. Look at you! livin' in your white castle. In The Band Or Not In The Band? take a photo of a local band with two other people in the shot..all album covery looking. viewers job to decide . .. who is or is not in the band. Ben Gazzara the 69 Mets Man Ray. The thing about autobiographies is you can only do it on one person. a cinema on the spot...little or no graphics...probably a bad name for your graphics firm ..when your receptionist answers the phone "Little or No Graphics. How may i direct your call? " To Catch a Predator - ..these sad, F-ed up men and their lives crumbling apart in someone's kitchen. like watching a car wreck. that rabbi the best so far for my money. watching people plead...i dunno picking the right religion .. they make it all's just a crapshoot..where you are born. Church of God the Verb. Think. all the religions say they are The One. if that's so then all the rest are null and void regarding the afterlife. (talk about positive spin...reruns now an "encore presentation" and death is "afterlife") God is hope repackaged. Now that we know this . .Let's just bring back hope! favorite quote from the bible to use against them : "The truth will set you free". SockRay Blue!! Shawn tonight . . . a few too many cocktails gave him a headful of thunder. words are just agreed upon. Don't Fuck with Wendy Testaburger! when your eyes are shut, you can see to infinity . Earth: Making It Up As We Go Along. each finished film is ultimately the answer. when you started it was still just a question - to play with and take on down a path of your own choosing. character name: Tao Jones. Go with God..... Just go! The Fag That Broke the Camels Back. Consciousness: the continuous situation. When your planet gets filled with martyrs . .it doesn't bode well. character in film: Rapper who has a panda bear named Bling Bling. good comedy club name: Hilarity & Sue's. No boogieman is an island.character in the story goes into a store to buy some context. good documentary idea . . .The History of Tomorrow. It's actually pretty wonderful that the universe always remains this constant mystery . .keeps us forever curious.