Monday, September 3, 2007

Is This a Test?

Please answer to the best of your ability.

1. Which of the following best describes your feelings about this first question?

a. Confusion
b. Annoyance
c. Laughter
d. Scorn

2. When taking tests regarding things and stuff, do answers come easy to you?

a. yes
b. no

3. When answering the previous question, if there had been a third option, 'sometimes" would you have checked that instead?

a. yes
b. no
c. sometimes

4. If you were a test, which of the following would you be?

a. Drivers
b. I.Q.
c. Breathalyzer
d. Rorschach

5. Looking back, would you say your life has been:

a. easy
b. difficult
c. sometimes

6. What word or phrase would best describe this question?

a. yes
b. no
c. only in an emergency
d. is this some kind of a joke?

(if you answered "D", please go to question 6a.)

6A. If this is some kind of joke, who or what is the joke 'on' ?

a. the status quo
b. test taking in general
c. yourself
d. them

(if you answered "C", please go to question 6B)

6B Oh come on! We're just having fun here, OK?

a. OK.
b. not OK.

(If you answered "B", go to 6c, for chrissakes)

6C. What's your fucking problem?

a. little or no sense of humor.
b. questionable upbringing.
c. Republican.
d. just not that into this kind of stuff.

7. Would you say you are more of an answer or more of a question?

a. answer.
b. question.

8. Would your friends say you are more of a blueprint or a haiku?

a. blueprint
b. haiku.

9. If your life is a baseball game, what inning are you in?

a. 1st
b. 2nd
c. 3rd
d. 4th
e. 5th
f. 6th
g. 7th
h. 8th
i. 9th
j. extra innings
k. one out in the bottom of the fifth, with the score tied. men on first and third and Derek Lee up.
l. I'm more into football.

10. Would you rather have pizza or sex?

a. pizza.
b. sex.
c. sometimes.
I'm more into football.

11. Is this test almost over?

a. yes


S. Holster said...

see, this is just plain good funny...

Anonymous said...

I'm going with an addition to question #9, response option c-m: guarding the left field line with Steve Bartman in the first row.

ER said...

you are nuts! still

Anonymous said...

The first test I aced, I am impressed. Is it with myself or you?

jayne said...

i Love this test it's hysterical