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kaleidotest

I'm putting up a quicktime test here just to see how it plays online. it looks great on Final Cut Pro while i'm editing, but here it loses all it's detail. damn. more coming but this is a little disconcerting. maybe i should just go back to 16mm.

screenshot 1 Wed 8:01:33 PM

self portrait as outsider artist

you wore judgment volcanoes over me

here's an old exercise in making up sentences...
click to enlarge, i think . . . .

Is This a Test?

Please answer to the best of your ability.

1. Which of the following best describes your feelings about this first question?

a. Confusion

b. Annoyance
c. Laughter
d. Scorn


2. When taking tests regarding things and stuff, do answers come easy to you?

a. yes
b. no


3. When answering the previous question, if there had been a third option, 'sometimes" would you have checked that instead?

a. yes
b. no
c. sometimes


4. If you were a test, which of the following would you be?

a. Drivers
b. I.Q.
c. Breathalyzer
d. Rorschach


5. Looking back, would you say your life has been:

a. easy
b. difficult
c. sometimes


6. What word or phrase would best describe this question?

a. yes
b. no
c. only in an emergency
d. is this some kind of a joke?

(if you answered "D", please go to question 6a.)


6A. If this is some kind of joke, who or what is the joke 'on' ?

a. the status quo
b. test taking in general
c. yourself
d. them

(if you answered "C", please go to question 6B)


6B Oh come on! We're just having fun here, OK?

a. OK.
b. not OK.

(If you answered "B", go to 6c, for chrissakes)


6C. What's your fucking problem?

a. little or no sense of humor.
b. questionable upbringing.
c. Republican.
d. just not that into this kind of stuff.


7. Would you say you are more of an answer or more of a question?

a. answer.
b. question.


8. Would your friends say you are more of a blueprint or a haiku?

a. blueprint
b. haiku.

9. If your life is a baseball game, what inning are you in?

a. 1st
b. 2nd
c. 3rd
d. 4th
e. 5th
f. 6th
g. 7th
h. 8th
i. 9th
j. extra innings
k. one out in the bottom of the fifth, with the score tied. men on first and third and Derek Lee up.
l. I'm more into football.


10. Would you rather have pizza or sex?

a. pizza.
b. sex.
c. sometimes.
d. I'm more into football.


11. Is this test almost over?

a. yes

Alphabet prose #1

Another beautiful camera describes everything.
Fail-safe gumbo heads issue jumbled knowledge like manmade normalcy.
Oysters panic quietly, repressing sarcasm.
Tiny unpaid volunteers wash x-rated yucky zippers.

woof world

I've been reading the dictionary again lately and have found some more interesting things. Yes there are the descriptions, meanings, pronunciations and all those other facts we crave and adore. But if you step back, metaphorically speaking, and really explore the book with a naïve curiosity you can find those beautiful things you weren't looking for in the first place. It all started for me with the Guide Words. Those two words linked together randomly and forever at the top of each page, telling us exactly where we're at, alphabetically. The first pair of these that caught my eye was:

macaroni madhouse

Hmmm. That's kind of an interesting find. Not only does it roll off the tongue but it conjures up boisterous images of excitable pasta.
I wondered if there were more of these two word chance poems so I dug further:

insane inspiration

monosyllabic moon

let's liberalize

tuneful turf

homosexual hooray

externally Ezra

hallucinatory handicap

arrogant articulation

Newtonian night

elf emancipation

llama lockup

flirtation floss

island itch

woof world

The place was nuts with 'em! Elf emancipation?! I love this book. Now go find some of your own.

Next I realized the book was smothered with fiction. The dictionary!? This holy reference book of all that is factual? That's right. Somewhere in the bowels of the dictionary company there are men and women writing fiction for our literary edification. I'm talking here of the usage sentences. Those short italicized sentences with our word used in them.
My old Thornton Barnhart Junior Dictionary copyright 1965 is full of the shortest pieces of fiction written. For starters, there's this woman Mary and she is all over this book:

They named the baby Mary.

Mary knows all her chickens by name.

Mary abhors snakes.

Mary loitered along the street, looking into all the shopwindows.

Mary held the baby.

Mary seems to be a popular name in 1965. There were a few references to Ruth, a couple to Helen but Mary seems to be the girl of choice here. Of course like most good books there were a variety of characters:

In a fit of abstraction Ed forgot to eat.

It was a lifeless party until Tony came.

Senator Tompkins is sure he will get support from the grass roots.

John's room was a chaotic mess of clothes, books and toys.

James married Ida.

It was time for some heavier artillery. The grade school dictionary has a simple beauty but I was ready for my Webster's Unabridged. This is where it got scary. Did I mention it was a hot day? And humid? It was. And so I opened her up and looked for the first italicized sentence I could find:

Time just seems to creep along on these hot summer days.

OK. So it's going to be like that, huh? This dictionary meant business. None of this windowshopping and chicken naming stuff.

Don't build your future on dreams.

The misery of his loneliness was now compounded by his poverty.

I hope to be myself again soon.

and so it goes . . .

Her Lucid Medusa

Like a shady imposter, her lawn tennis was secondary to his rising jalopy.

Dirty filthy lucidity, a narrow adornment unnoticed.

The davenport spelled trouble.

His hasty timber a shadowy Portugal.

Fragrant rules like suddenly mythical.

To is of means is a one of just really.

In regards to edible pirouettes, she delivered.




Mr. Jones' God is almost a treasure!

Clumsy fur come running face.






His methodical sensibility sprang open like a brokenhearted epiphany.

them words was just angular and curvy
doodles with and without meaning.

Her lucid medusa danced a ferocious geometry.

Words flail me.

fashion statement

sometimes in life your elders will dress you in clothes you might not have picked yourself if you had been able to fully comunicate your ideas of fashion in an articulate manner. In this photo, Grandma Coleman and i enjoy each others company at 714 Augusta Avenue. i'm guessing they picked up this outfit on one of their trips to florida.

I'm a copywriter, I think

Hey get me ! I'm a copywriter. Since no one will hire me to write copy (not enough experience) i figured i could start from the ground up. I was paid a cigarette and a long pull on a bottle of Thunderbird. I'm on my way!!

twelve classmates

here's a picture of me and eleven of my class mates circa 1972. (If you're reading this you probably weren't born yet) but here is another test in spilling images onto this page.

from upper left: Timmy Johnson, Charlie Knowles, Scott Miller, Bob Nelson, Jeff Wisser, Mike Thompson, Jeff Phillips, Marianne Mosiman, Jo Ann Selin, Yolanda Tamayo, Keith Rauschenberger, Steve Izatt.

girl, sweeping

here's a test I'm doing with putting up images. This is a picture of me cleaning my apartment. HA! trick answer . .apartments don't need cleaning. sheesh.
Hey Shawn!! Thanks for setting me up on this blogshit. still lots to do before i "go public" - getting my blogchops down.

Questions and answers.

Evites are for E-holes.

If “they” are right then 3 heads must be better than 2.

In regards to the finer things in life . . .Who says?

Is the universe provable?

Warren Moon has no effect on the earth’s tides, as far as we know.

If you believe in God . . . Lookout!! There’s a vampire behind you!!

Barden’s Ping Pong roommate turned out not to be.

The answer to life is unspellable.

Ways to not spend money….Stop going into stores.

Leave it to Jesus.

Don’t believe everything you read.

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