maps of the cow

here's more languagey stuff ...

i took a handful of my recent blog posts and put em through our SuperSecretTRanslatorFunMachine. (English to Spanish and back to English.) Our SuperSecretTRanslatorFunMachine likes to inject the 'of word' quite often while translating words and their offspring so take it or leave it. I didnt edit any of these - just picked em as i saw em. The entire translations are below (for you WerdGluttons, translateMongers, ofLovers, etc)- but here now are the top wordmoments, or so i thought . . .


Passwords of the Father

the maps of the cow of the disease of madonna

the poetry of poems

pictures of the pictures of the PICTURES of the Pics of pics of picpost of the photos of the photos of the photography

ticketmaster of thumbzilla

huns of humor

The Island of the email
Canguelo rejected!

whispering silencer

the map of the angry search of the map


quotations of the fibromyalgia of the fished ones

the free fabric of the email of the tests of the sources of the game of the direct transferences
White Target

Spasmo of the Art
the bestiality of the baseball of the bottoms of the names of the baby

the idiots of April

the maps of the route of the
route of the translator

Chinese War Five


bukkake of the icons


legal gentleman of the blue book
the modernity of the death converter


Shakespeare of Serialz

of the dog of the dog of the chaste ones of the dog!

the maps of way
serpents that smoke

I am speaking here of the orations of the use

the women of winzip

HorseradishTree Gazzara

Yahoo de Yahoo Yahoo of yahoo

Era hour

approval of failures

Madhouse of the hmmm.
The Island Pricks
Tubular Powders

The Fabric of the Weather Message.

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82 Words for Splank

The eskimo language Yupik has been estimated to have approximately 24 words for snow. In keeping with this theory my apartment has 82 words or phrases for "a fucking mess". It started when i came up with the phrase for the grizzled charred pizza strands hanging from the grill inside my oven.
Pizza Scoundrels.
After coming up with this i started looking around my apartment..
Piles of stuff in corners, unfinished sculptures, stacks of crazed semi ideas, forgotten projects, it all added up. Here then is the list of small and glorious sections of disarray at TeamMiller Headquarters:

Creeping Nitch, Chelm, Art Phlegm, Whispering Squelch, Y'melmahay, Corner Thingees, Disinterpreted Norp,Resting Urk, Table of Contents, Silent Gargle, Dwellers, Interfangle, Unfinished Nerbs,Discarded Funk, Frutz, Mess Throng,
Skrulk, Big Bang, Junk Attack,Yesterdays Explosion, Balancing Frax, Murder One, Mini Scrutz, Fuckit, a Pile of Fuckit, a Lingering Pile of Fuckit, Yobobo, Curbsters/Curblings, Past History,Incarcerated Wingdings, Talminkle,
a Pile of Brakhage, Headache, Disproportionate Flink, Art Spasm, Falling Backwash,
Stacked Frangles, Leaning Twilch,Wasted Idea, Sprawling Nooch,Sculpture Burp, a Roomful of Me,
Sri Larry,Filthco, Window Squelch,Once Proud, Sliders,
Scattered Change,Trigger Happy, Meandering Filth,Cornered Fernlings, Idea Pile,Tow Jam, Hangdog Sink, the Unforgiven, Grandfathers, Latners, Scattered Froop, Kranch, Truncated Nurt, Rectangular Gruttz,Dirty Melvit, Fart Collage,Diagonal Tharch, Wandering Blutz, So Yesterday, Chankle, Standing Felch, NoOne’s Lark,
Fixated Whereabouts, Yummsters,Pile o' Shame, Frantic Laziness, Salt Lick,
Tripping Little Epiphanies, Ancient Grease, Concentrated Miller,Splank, Not Exactly Hallmark, Forgotten Schmutz, Leaning Beige,
Wall Twirch & Floor Splat.

The crowd goes nuts.

Now that the relative smoke has cleared from Khartoum and our british school teacher (Gillian Gibbons) is back home safe and sound we thought it prudent here at TeamMiller to get to the root of the problem. Tonight in our studio we have a special guest. Please put your hands together folks for Muhammad the Teddy Bear!!
(wild applause as the TeamMiller house band plays a funky tripped out version of Who Let the Dogs Out)
Muhammad appears stage right pumping his fist in the air and performs a highly animated two step over toward Miller.
MILLER: (yelling over the clapping and the band) "They LOVE You!!"
Muhammed The Teddy Bear suspends both arms over his head and continues pumping his arms in this fashion so as to "raise the roof".
The crowd goes nuts. Muhammad The Teddy Bear now genuflects the crowd and then bolts upright and poses with one hand to his ear as his opposite hip is thrust out in the universal mock sign of "I can't hear you". The crowd goes nuts. The band keeps playing LOUDER NOW. Muhammad The Teddy Bear now jumps to the center of the stage and wiggles his hips back and forth culminating in his now signature move of licking on his paw and then pressing it hard on his outstretched furry buttocks as he had done earlier in the week on Oprah. And now the crowd is peeing itself. Literally.
This only energizes Muhammad The Teddy Bear and he runs over next to Miller and tears open his fuzzy torso and starts tossing his wooly insides over the top of himself and Miller as it falls lightly in the air like furry brown confetti. Cut to Close up of the two laughing and yelling into each others ears as Muhammad The Teddy Bear keeps flipping his insides over the two. Now Miller in uncontrolled enthusiasm reaches into Muhammad The Teddy Bear and starts flipping more of his insides over the two of them as Muhammad The Teddy Bear feigns shock at so much of himself being discarded for a sight gag. He quickly gets down on the floor on his back and attempts to catch as much of his fur back into his chest cavity. Making the crowd go....
FLASH CUT to: a crowd of Muslims in Khartoum, Sudan watching this all take place on a small black and white television and thinking : "Those people are nuts".

a picture's worth a bunch of words

i know it might look like these hands are praying but in reality they were on a 16mm educational film called "Friction & It's Effects". ok i'd write more but i'm already up to 1,025 including the picture and not including this sentence.