Sunday, September 28, 2008

Seemless Universe's $700 Billion Bailout Plan

As of today Seemless Universe and Frapulous Tranding, Inc. is offering a $700 Billion prize to anyone who can prove the existence of God.

Or the nonexistence.

Good Luck To All!

Today's Scores

Cubs 7
Brewers 3

Bo Schembechler 8
Fonzy 2

Curtis Mayfield 11
home field advantage 9

Joe Lieberman’s reasons 2
Soupy Sales 8

thoughts in the wee small hours 9
unsubstantiated fascinations 2

smoke signals 6
text messaging 0

reading existential paperbacks while vacationing in Patagonia 7
Jackson Pollack’s boundary issues 5

Wolfgang Puck 2
Hugh Beaumont 8

Fiddle Faddle 3
collecting and trading Sarah Palin pap smears 1

Transcendental vegetation 7
Your Tostitos Halftime Report 4

a statement that appears unrelated to a statement that it follows 3
nonsequitors 3

Jeff Koons 1
choking on your own vomit 5

the time that guy did that thing at the party 6
Morey Amsterdam 7

Roald Dahl’s James and the Giant Peach 7
Echo and the Bunnymen 6

Receiving the French Order of Merit for Illustrious Cowardice 2
Junior Varsity Cheerleaders 8

Candy stripers 3
Soda jerks 4

legally changing your name to Birdy Putz 2
vaguely wondering about that 6th grade “pinata incident” 11

canker sores 2
cannon fodder 7

Establishing your running game 5
wandering Jews 6

muttonchops 4
rabbit ears 6

making up names at your keyboard 8
Fartface Mcgee 7

eating cucumber sandwiches on the veranda while wearing and discussing clothes 2
Jerry Reed 8

metaphorical half-pints 5
“John Cage’s Adam’s apple” said ten times really fast 11

stereotypes 3
daguerreotypes 9

printing a dupe negative from your interpositive to save your original camera negative from wear and tear 8
tuna fish 3

Paul Newman 11
Ann Coulter’s dried up coochie 1

Monday, September 8, 2008

Bush Speaks

I've been noticing of late on broadcast TV a lot of sound problems. A couple weeks ago I watched a preseason football game (yes i really did) on Fox and a beautiful thing happened. The microphones on the announcers weren't coming through. At all. So i was able to enjoy the game hearing just the sounds on the field. They should do this for real. It made the game immensely more watchable.
Last week at the Republican Convention George Bush spoke via satellite to the crowd in St. Paul. NBC was airing it and we got to enjoy W's speech without the reaction of the crowd. A major mistake for the network but a coup for anyone who enjoys Out Of Context Theater. Here's a clip from the speech:



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