Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Who's Hiring? my (recent) resume


Emergency Insulation Installer
(July 2008)
1. Cut insulation to length.
2. Placed and stapled into where it goes.
4. Attention to detail.
5. People skills.

Weed Puller (July 2008)
1. Found Weeds.
2. Pulled Weeds.
3. Put Weeds in bags.
4. Self starter.
5. Instituted new Weed pulling technique, wherein you wrap your college diploma around the Weed first, so as to get a better grip, then pull upward while turning the diploma counter clockwise. This new method was integrated and proven to get 27% more root. Was awarded employee of the afternoon.
6. Intermediate Landscape Philosophizing.
7. Attention to detai.

High School Teacher (June 23rd, 2008 - June 24th, 2008)
(Details available upon request)

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

dear scott,

move to chicago and help me design some clothes.

jocelyn

Coleman Miller said...

Jocelyn
Is that a job offer?
What does it pay and does it come with health benefits?
You realize if this comes about you will be the third generation of Farwell I've worked for.

sheesh.

bluegirl said...

It's probably terrible to have laughed so hard but - thanks I needed it.

RM said...

"Attention to detai" -

In the words of John C Spears, "top marks."

Anonymous said...

well, it doesn't pay..... BUT i bet we could come up with some pretty awesome clothing ideas! and it would be pretty darn fun if i do say so myself!

Anonymous said...

my favorite kind of clothing is no clothing

wendy said...

... so you DO need a college diploma to pull weeds more professionally. shit. i'm out.